In crying, We laugh.

[Whimsical||MUSE;]

In crying, we laugh.

Their names are falling from my lips
like gumdrops.
Salty and sweet,
with a twinge of sourness.
Can I suck away the shell
and leave their fullness behind on my teeth?
How long can I hold onto the flavor
before it all falls flat?

I keep sucking on their warmth,
their hands,
their fingers,
holding them close, and closer still.
I can never let go -- do you want to see me fall?

There are a group of them in the palm of my hand,
all with different faces
different tastes,
different laughs --
but the warmth is the same.
Some burn hotter, burn quicker,
to the bone, to the heart, and I bleed and bleed;

I am an addict,
and my tongue is withering,
stuck to the roof of my mouth like plaster.
More, more, more -- but there is never enough
to make me purr for eons and eternity.
Infinity plus one can not sate me. Times a thousand, squared.
Math falls apart in a blurry stream of consciousness --

but I know the weight of his cheek on my shoulder,
and I know the heat of his chest,
the thunder in his heart. I know,
and in knowing, fill up the empty hole in my heart
with him, and only him.

This is the first brilliance I see in the darkness,
and I keep on walking forward, running forward,
breathless, hating the shadow that crowds my heels.
Perhaps he is shadow too, but there is fire in his eyes --
like gumdrops,
his name is falling from my lips as I roll into sleep
hugging everything close to keep away the cold.

Winter has come, but our hibernation isn't as frightening as
I thought it would be.


October 26, 2011