Untitled

[xunpredictablel]

manic.
climbing up clouds like steps
reaching for the sun although
I know I will burn
in its atmosphere.
manic.
bunching up my pants so I can run
rocks flying behind me and I
don’t care who I could hurt.
manic.
tumbling head over feet until
I can’t feel anymore.
I am a wretched combination of
everything and nothing
I am invincible
undying
I can reach into my chest and pull
a heart that ever-beats
through the rotting bone.

MANIC.
I can see them in my dreams.
MANIC.
I panic as I cling to a semblance
of reality.
MANIC.
I can sense them coming closer, reaching
into my throat to rip
out the words I’m trying to scream.
MANIC.
I feel their hands on me.
MANIC.
I want to wrench away from them
but my body is unmoving.
MANIC.
I cannot tell myself that I am here
anymore.
There is nothing that is real here.
I fall down a rabbit hole
into a pseudo-reality
that feels more like hell.
MANIC.
questions arise.
panic strikes me.
too many words.
too many answers.
MANIC.
too many things, like the wind
wailing and the
cars SMASHING like metal
wrenching in my ears. too many
things like prayers to a god
who doesn’t answer, questions to an
imbecile who’s had no school,
falsified idols who clench to the
idealism of hope.
MANIC.
I want to cling to the good,
the invincibility.
MANIC.
it sleeps between my fingertips and
bunches underneath my pillows and I
am sleeping on the piles of trash.
MANIC.

I am slipping away
manic
I cannot see
manic
clenching me
manic
demons everywhere
manic
deathly… manic…